I determined to follow him over twenty years ago, albeit fearfully, hesitantly, and somewhat erratically. The destination was not made clear — there were no road signs along the way with the exact name of where I was headed, what I would be doing, or who I would be doing it with. I remember well the misgivings and angst that accompanied my decision to follow anyway, without knowing.
I trusted him. On days I couldn’t muster up real trust, I followed because I had committed to.
In the midst of all that uncertainty was a sense of something ahead. It beckoned. It promised. It offered circumstances that would put to rest my unmet needs. It would make sense of chronically undeveloped, frustrated qualities and yearnings within me.
I can describe it only as a sense of purpose, a destiny beyond my understanding, a calling from my familiar life into an unknown one.
For many years after my first steps into it, I had a mysterious expectancy — something better was ahead. Only in the past few years am I aware of being in it. Finally. I can’t say that I can identify what, exactly, I am in, I just know that it has finally arrived.
Or maybe it’s me who finally arrived in it.
Maybe this sense of destiny being fulfilled has to do with the writing that began in earnest five years ago. Maybe it’s the new people that came into my life unexpectedly, or the reappearance of many from my past. Maybe it’s the removal of some people. Perhaps it’s the distance I’ve gained on injustices and realizing that the “bad stuff” is not repeating. Maybe it’s due to further yielding to God’s will, of passing some kind of crucial, incremental notch on my seemingly endless cog of surrender.
Maybe it’s all of that and far more. I may remain forever unenlightened, and my understanding of it might not matter … I just know I’m in something new.
“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19
You also have a destiny, a purpose, a calling to something new. It is good ahead for you, irresistibly good. Choose it, and be confident that God will make a way for its fulfillment.
He leads. You need only to trust him enough to follow where he leads.
“All the days planned for me were written in your book before I was one day old.” Psalm 139:16
“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10