I’ve been studying NPD, or diagnosable Narcissistic Personality Disorder, for the past four months. I’ve listened to podcasts and videos and read countless articles by respected and experienced psychologists.

There are some universally-accepted truths that they all agree on, and a few discrepancies. For example, some say NPD is genetically acquired, some say the opposite: that it is environmentally acquired in childhood due to trauma. Others say narcissists are groomed to become one by a narcissist parent. While I would love to learn the truth of how the narcissists I know became one, it will have to wait until it is proven. I have to also accept that the cause of NPD may never be proven.

The majority of information about NPD, however, has put words and understanding to people that have baffled me for decades. To hear words put to something you know from firsthand experience is to finally be validated. To learn that you are not alone in your suffering is relieving. To have clarity on the “hows and whys” of tactics used against you is freeing. To be understood finally, when everyone advised you to deal with a narcissist as if they were a normal person, but everything in your being cried out in disagreement, is exoneration.

The information on NPD is vast, but I’d recommend listening to this video. It distills much of the information into the basics. It is a great starting point. She specializes in NPD in the area of marriage and divorces. If that applies to you, it may finally explain the life you’ve endured, or the inability to shed a past narcissistic partner. If that’s not you, realize that the truths are not specific to divorce; they are generalizable to anyone: a boss or coworker, family member, friend, church or community leader or peer. They can also apply to those you know only from a distance, such as Trump.

Experts worldwide have been studying our current president as long as he has been in the public eye. They agree that he has NPD. Though most of my relief has come with understanding people in my private life, there is also a freedom that has come from understanding Trump. It creates a distance by stepping away from his tactics and seeing him for who he is. He has advanced to an astounding level of followers and enacted destructions on our nation by using classic NPD tactics.

As you learn about him as a narcissist, and disengage from his tactics, his power to toy with you is lost. The truth will set a whole lot of people free of him, if they are willing to learn.

Think of people you know intimately as you watch the video. Also think of Trump and his clones.

Keep in mind that who you see on the outside may not be who they are on the inside. Narcissists are good at what they do: maintaining facades in public, but unleashing cruel tactics to control and exploit their victims behind closed doors.

I’ll leave the rest to the video.

As you watch and listen … May the truth set you free.

Video rights belong to Stowe Family Law and Dr. Supriya McKenna. Subscribe to their videos and podcasts.