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Wise Words About Fools

cindigale's avatarCindi Gale

Proverbs 26

2 Don’t worry when someone curses you for no reason. Nothing bad will happen. Such words are like birds that fly past and never stop.

4-5 There is no good way to answer fools when they say something stupid. If you answer them, then you, too, will look like a fool. If you don’t answer them, they will think they are smart.

6 Never let a fool carry your message. If you do, it will be like cutting off your own feet. You are only asking for trouble.

9 A fool trying to say something wise is like a drunk trying to pick a thorn out of his hand.

10 Hiring a fool or a stranger who is just passing by is dangerous—you don’t know who might get hurt.

11 Like a dog that returns to its vomit, a fool does the same foolish things again and again.

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On Staying Out Of Traps

cindigale's avatarCindi Gale

Let’s talk golf. Specifically, let’s talk hazards.

By definition, a hazard is an area of a golf course which provides a difficult obstacle, and is usually of two types: water hazards such as lakes and rivers; and man-made hazards such as bunkers. Bunkers are designed to be impediments to golfers’ progress toward the green.

There are man-made hazards in life, too. They are abundant in quantity, seeped in varying degrees of injustice or cruelty, and often come from unexpected sources. Who are these people who choose to be bunkers, who aspire to catch us in their traps?

  • They are the trolls at gatherings or on social media, baiting whoever will bite with untrue or bombastic statements. They like to inflame, to goad us into reacting, to pull us into their broiler. The antitheses of peacekeepers, they are Fight Seekers.

golf course with fire hazard  

  • They are the self-serving plotters, strategists who design ways…

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Search for Truth

The U.S. administration mentioned in this original post has changed, the point of the post has not: lies remain lies; truths remain truths. Think of truth as a solid, foundational rock. No amount of atmospheric smoke, chaos, dodging, gaslighting, projecting, or spinning turns that rock into something different. It is still the same solid, foundational rock, if we would just LOOK. We must refuse to be lazy, forming opinions spoon-fed us by creators of deception. We must refuse to be a cog in their agenda – they want us to pass on deception for them. We must throw off everything that hinders and insist on seeing the rock for ourselves. We must refuse all other agendas and withhold our opinions until we study the truth. Let the rock of truth alone inform our opinions.

cindigale's avatarCindi Gale

Misinformation abounds. It has turned into a futile “war” out there:  an “us versus them”; a “my belief is true versus your belief is fake news”. That’s the current climate on every topic imaginable. God knows how it came to this, but to me it seems everywhere I turn there is a deep pit of opinion with slimy, slippery slopes. I sense I may not get out of some of the pits if I fall in.

And so I step aside from those deep pits and search out truths. 

Here is an example. Tonight I saw a meme — a deep pit of opinion with slimy, slippery slopes — saying that Clinton enacted and enforced a child separation policy regarding immigrants, Obama continued it, and Trump is now being falsely accused by “the Dems” for doing what those before him did, too.

But it’s not true. Did I decide it’s…

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May You Make A Difference

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and turn their pain to joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.

Amen.

Source unknown, commonly accepted as “A Franciscan Blessing”.

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Thou Changest Not

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. – James 1:17 (English Standard Version)

God is constant and unwavering. If we don’t understand that, we often bring our experiences from human relationships to our relationship with him. We try to change him. We make inaccurate assumptions about him. We accuse him. We blame him.

And then we expect intimacy with him. We want him to comfort and coddle us; bless and favor us; counsel and confide in us. When he does, we exploit what he gives, or twist the words and meaning of what he confided. No wonder, when we mishandle the priceless things he entrusts us with, he stops sharing them. He still is nearby, but the intimacy of the relationship is compromised.

What happens over time, for those who mistreat him this way, but still want to be close to him? We have no choice but to be the ones who must change. Thankfully, with God, change is possible. Where we were captive, we become free. Where we used to be weak, we become strong. Where we were confused, we become certain. Where we were manipulatable and timid, we become secure and confident.

Those are but a few of the inevitable outcomes of a right relationship with God. We don’t change him — he is constant and unwavering — it’s we who must change. As he makes us more like him over time, we become constant and unwavering too. That constancy impacts our values, interests, purposes on earth, and relationships with people.

As we gain secureness and strength, the dynamics of any unhealthy relationships are disrupted. Some people don’t like how we’ve changed. They had come to expect our weaknesses, and habitually capitalized on them. Relationships might dissolve as a result. If it were up to God, we wouldn’t have been in relationship with some people in the first place.

What can people in our lives do if they simply don’t want to lose us? As long as constancy prevails in us, over time the only option to resolve the friction is for them to change, too. Their adaptations toward God-likeness can salvage the relationship. Thankfully, what happened in us can happen to them as well. Some will initiate change solely to retain the relationship, even if they wouldn’t have otherwise. All of that change was compelled not by confrontation or demands, but by the constancy of God.

While he remains constant, we are compelled to clean up our hearts and alter our thinking to conform to his heart and mind. If we will do that, intimacy with God grows. He lets us near his heart. He shares what’s on his mind. Beyond that, he is intimately involved in listening to our hurts, interests, and thoughts. That intimate, healthy relationship is the foundation upon which the remainder of our lives are built.

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The Discovery of More

cindigale's avatarCindi Gale

I have always been practical and fact-driven, influenced by a childhood spent on a farm, an education focused on biology, and a career as a physical therapist. I was never one to put my confidence in anything speculative, so, despite a Christian upbringing, I long-doubted the existence of God. It’s not that I didn’t try to believe, or want to believe — I just didn’t. Or maybe I couldn’t.

As it happened, twenty years ago life for me became excruciating. I had exhausted all options to stop a person from destroying my family. I was desperate enough to consider God once again — if he did exist, I needed his help. Honestly, in directing a “prayer” to him “somewhere up there in the sky” I was more prepared for no response than for divine intervention.

I remember vividly the afternoon soon after — I was alone on a long, country…

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Power Beyond Ourselves

cindigale's avatarCindi Gale

What can stand against a plan of God? What insufficiencies that resist correction in a person, for example, can continue in unrighteousness when caught up in the path of God’s power?Related image

Nothing can stand in opposition to God. Like an avalanche, He pushes aside opposition, scattering the unrighteous and picking up those destined to cooperate with Him, even if they aren’t yet yielded to God. He transports them.

We try to move on God’s path to the best of our abilities, but we can do only so much. We are often too slow, or too delayed in development for the timing of His plan. Rather than miss out then, He scoops us up into something beyond us, something much more powerful than ourselves, and moves within us to the completion He’s after, while simultaneously moving our changing selves along His mission. Much like an aircraft could be built while…

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Learning About People

“When people show you who they are, believe them.” … When a person let’s you know … they say, “I told you I was unkind. So now why are you angry?” – Maya Angelou

I suppose Maya Angelou’s question is a rhetorical one, but I’m going to answer it anyway, because God knows I’ve spent countless hours over decades trying to understand how twisted relationships happen.

“Why don’t you believe them the first time they show you, or tell you, who they are?”

Because…

  • You very much want them to be better than they are at any given point in time.
  • You are optimistic they can be.
  • You are committed to the relationship, and don’t give up on your commitments that easily.
  • You aren’t ready to give up on what could be, if only some crucial corrections are made.
  • You know this person can be good, you’ve seen them act the part with ease when they’re around people they want to impress.
  • You hold onto hope that they may one day choose to be that good person behind closed doors, too — they may never again turn cruel or abusive when alone with you.
  • With a particular type of person who diminishes you insidiously and subtly, you hope they will choose to be fair to you one day, instead of provoking under the radar.
    • You hope each time will be the last time they slander, mock, or shame you in front of people, giving you no chance to react or set the record straight.
    • Or the last time they slander, mock, or shame you in private, then immediately dismiss you, giving you no chance to react and set the record straight.
    • Or the last time you hear they have slandered, mocked, or shamed you behind your back, again … giving you no chance to react and set the record straight.
    • If only they stopped playing innocent, while knowingly leaving you with shitty options:
      • Take it in order to de-escalate them.
      • Grovel to stave off their rage and revenge.
      • Remain silent as you are wrongfully accused in front of people, denying yourself a voice and self-worth.
      • Or react and appear the aggressor to people who have no context for what is playing out in front of them.
  • With another type of “fine-upstanding-public-image-person”: they may eventually feel shame that they are the opposite of their finely-tuned act. If they are smart enough to craft such a persona, they should be smart enough to want to be on the inside what they portray on the outside.

THERE IS A POINT though, with some people, when …

  • You are pushed to your limit.
  • You know you’ll be selling your own soul if you continue on with them.
  • The trend of their behavior toward you isn’t improving, it is in fact worsening.
  • You are certain the person has dug in their heels and has no intention of considering the good of the relationship. They do not want to give up their ways: their selfishness, deceitfulness, usury and abusiveness, or their ugly methods of disarming or manipulating you. They value their tactics, they prefer their ways.
  • They don’t mind at all if you end up destroyed in varied little, or very big ways.
  • They will not change in time. They will certainly delay or prevent you from a good life if you continue in their trap, their sick dynamic.
  • They have never, and you are certain they will never, be accountable for their ways.

THAT IS THE MOMENT you know you must …

  • Withdraw your trust.
  • Limit the relationship.
  • Remark your boundaries.
  • And in some cases … WALK.

It’s after all that “living and learning” that you look back and think … “Why didn’t I believe them the first time they showed me and told me who they were?” …

You didn’t know. You simply didn’t know.

But NEXT TIME …

  • You will be vigilant.
  • You will be discerning.
  • You will not prematurely and naively trust.
  • You will be a wise manager of your own life.
  • You will know to keep the optimal distance.
  • You will never again submit and commit your life to a liar, a thief, a scoundrel, a user and abuser, a manipulator, a wolf in sheep’s clothing, a conman, a Cruella de Vil …

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Galatians 6:7.  Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.

Job 34:30.  That the hypocrite reign not, lest the people be ensnared.

Psalm 7…15 He has dug a hole and hollowed it out; he has fallen into a pit of his own making. 16 His trouble recoils on himself, and his violence falls on his own head.  

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Travel Light

cindigale's avatarCindi Gale

Imagine a TSA checkpoint at an airport. What if the qualification of passing from our current status to the one we are meant to be in is that we must shed some luggage? — only those who are traveling light can pass through. Would we do it, or would we stay behind, unwilling to comply? What if it was God who defined those terms, and the requirements were personalized?

I know most people from church culture would say, “Of course, to love God is to obey God, I always do.” But what people say and what people do are often very different. I have traveled many miles, so to speak, with people who claimed God as their priority, and commander and King, but witnessed them unwilling to leave behind their massive pile of luggage at the TSA checkpoint. Had they only left it, as asked and encouraged, they could have…

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