In our lifetimes, we are given countless chances and opportunities. That doesn’t mean we always notice them. Or take them. Sometimes we see a chance—we even want it badly—but let it pass by. While others take charge of their lives and seize opportunities, our feet are stuck in mud. Or we’re caught in a strong current and can’t break free.

Let’s use a river metaphor. A man wants in, but is waiting for someone to set him safely on a raft in the center of the river. In another case, a woman is in the water and wants out—her river is cold and ruthless—but she stays there, captive to the current.

Both the man and woman think the power to change their circumstances is in someone else’s hands.

Do people see themselves as having a victim mentality? Most don’t. They have views such as “accept the bad with the good”…