To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. It’s a line we’re all familiar with, from Christian marriage vows at wedding after wedding.
Most of us know people who have honored that vow. Couples who seem to have the best of luck, couples who seem to have the worst of luck. No matter what life throws at them, they endure it together.
We also know people who have not honored that vow. Couples who drift. Couples who are torn apart by life events, abuse by one, or infidelity of one or both. Couples who used to have “love is blind” vision of each other, whose casual comments have changed about their spouse: “The way he chews his food grosses me out”; “She irritates the hell outta me”. Those people don’t have the big issues to drive a wedge between them, so they resort to pettiness to justify their decision to leave.
But that’s people we’re talking about. Imperfect beings. Works in progress at best. Evil at worst.
I want to talk about God. Our Father. Our counselor. Our protector and caretaker. Our companion and confidant.
He is not an imperfect being. He is perfect. Stop right now if your subconscious projects onto him what you have experienced in humans.
He is not human. He is God.
The common obstacle to believing his goodness, is the reality that all is not good on the Earth. Why are there landslides, earthquakes, droughts, starvation, murder, rape, theft? If he is exists, why does God allow evil?
That I can’t answer. I’ve heard it explained that it began with Adam, but I don’t know that the origin of the fall of man explains it all for me. I don’t need to know the answer. Because God’s spirit is accessible, speaking and guiding, comforting and encouraging now. Today. I don’t want to compromise his presence available to me in the now, to pursue questions yet to be answered in all of time.
I don’t know much about this world we occupy but I know this:
God accepts each person’s extended hand and holds it. Like people do in marriage. Or friendship. Or as a parent and child holds hands. And as long as you are committed to him, he keeps holding on. If you push him away, or turn your back to him, he won’t push himself on you — he will honor your free will.
But keep searching in the dark for his hand, finding and clinging to it, intending to do so forever, and know that in doing so you enter a covenant relationship with God.
A relationship in which you can count on him to be faithful in all things. He makes more than a lifelong vow with you, he makes an eternal vow with you. He will not break his vows.
To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, in death I need not part, according to God’s holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow.
A blog post I wrote in 2015 has resurfaced and is being reread this week.
Think of it as a time capsule being pulled from a foundation. Will opening it reveal the change that is expected when time capsules are opened?
This blog happened to be on one topic of many, that a growing number of Christians focus their attacks on. It is an example of people being labeled, profiled, and lumped into a group, as a way to dehumanize them.
Why is this done to people by bullies? So that bullies feel justified in their primal desire to dominate others. They “enimize” Individuals to feel right about condemning them.
As you read the original post of 2015, ask yourself:
Did the bullies of the Church of 2015 use the time since then to retreat from their chosen road of aggression and hate? Or have they increased in numbers and self-righteousness on the exact same road they were on in 2015?
Since bully Christians tie their views and actions to God, claiming he endorses them and they represent him, consider what God might think of their use of time: Was it time he purposed for them to alter course? Was the past decade a time period for his ongoing mercy and long-suffering patience toward those who call themselves his? Was it a time that he refrained from unleashing wrath though it was warranted?
Consider: What happens when nothing changes despite an allotted time period of God’s mercy? Does he let us go into the fair consequences of our stubborn and committed choices?
Are we at the point of moving from his mercy to his wrath? Will consequences break through the hardened hearts and minds of those who declare themselves godly but are anything but? Will a state of his wrath facilitate change when mercy did not?
We can wait and watch together.
Time will tell.
My original blog, dated August 6, 2015, entitled,
“Knock, and the Door Will Be Opened.”
Since the USA recently legalized gay marriage, social media has been abuzz with opinions on the topic. I intended to defer to greater minds, and to those it affects directly, but the following Facebook post by an acquaintance pulled me into the fray:
There seems to be some confusion brought into the Church about whether Gay people will go to heaven. Apparently, God Himself has something to weigh in on this subject (for those with ears to hear what the Spirit says to the Church).
“Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11
I’ve overlooked the chastisements and judgments of her varied posts over the months since we met, as well as during a social event she invited me to, but this time stirred a response. I commented on her post, mentioning verses from 1 Cor. 13 about love, and God’s call for us to love, not condemn. Immediately, she sent me texts on my phone and private messages on Facebook, saying I was a voice for Satan, and an “accuser of the brethren”. I was still recoiling from those words, when she berated me at length on her post, including use of scriptures meant to silence a rebuttal.
Plenty of scriptures came to my own mind in support of love, but I knew they weren’t welcome. I typed a comment, “I have no words. I thought I was allowed a point of view. Why is promoting God’s love a reason to attack me?”, but it didn’t go through. I had already been blocked. Unfriended. Accused but denied a response. Rejected and ejected. Over and done in mere minutes.
The unjust and bizarre attack was meant to intimidate, silence and to shame me, just as the post was meant to do to gays. To be honest, I was shaken, especially by the amount of hate that was unleashed toward me. It didn’t escape notice that most of it was spewed offline where nobody could witness it. I had experienced a taste of the hatred that so many people endure from a few “Christians”.
Why does one woman’s behavior matter enough to address it in a blog post? Because this woman and her husband started and pastor a church, and additionally run an area-wide ministry to “lead leaders of the church”. How many others are being bullied, intimidated, accused and condemned?
So, in defense of the bullied, I challenge the bully …
What was the purpose of a post condemning gays to hell? Who was the intended audience for your “lesson”? It was a public setting, so I presume it was meant for any-and-all to read and take heed. I’ve wracked my brain for how it could be helpful to anyone, and have come up blank.
If people who are gay or lesbian read it, you created an illusion of a massive wall between them and God. Instead of hearing good news, such as John 3:17, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him”, they are met with an impenetrable wall with a closed door, and this sign over it: “Condemnation Church.” Why would anyone want to enter through that door?
Why do people who have received God’s forgiveness and grace themselves, play bouncer and dictate who is allowed to know God and who is not? Why not do as we are asked, which is love others as he loves us, and share indiscriminately the truths that have given us life?
God is not exclusionary, and the (door)way to him is not via people. People may present themselves as the hoop to jump through, but they are not Christ. Imperfect beings that we are, we often ignore what we want, conclude some issues in the Bible are obsolete or indicative of the culture of the time (such as owning slaves, or the practice of polygamy and having concubines), while insisting on the infallibility of the Bible when using scriptures that reinforce our current beliefs.
Why don’t we admit that we aren’t all-knowing? Why don’t we suspend judgment during times of change and controversy? It’s foolish not to, because our dogma and arrogance is very evident to others – we are but resounding gongs. We think we have the monopoly on all truth, and everybody else is wrong. We’re certain everyone notes our rightness, our superiorness, but all others hear is a piercing, clanging cymbal.
While we’re playing God, we are only helping the enemy’s cause, not God’s. We are the reason people are repelled from God.
We abuse God’s Word to puff up our pride, and flaunt our authoritative superiority over innocent people. We don’t even bother to ask God what his view is of others. We accuse people who don’t agree with us of not “having ears to hear” his Spirit, while it is we who won’t listen. We won’t humble ourselves and ask for God’s guidance, because if we do, we’re likely to be knocked off our pedestals — for he humbles those who exalt themselves. If we listen to him, he might tell us the very person we are condemning pleases him; he loves and approves of them; he or she loves him back and is malleable clay in his, the potter’s, caring hands.
He might unleash his wrath on us, not our victims, if we had “ears to hear”. So we don’t ask him anything, and we don’t listen. We keep busy, condemning. We don’t even need God’s presence or direction; we already know which scriptures to use to ambush anyone who disagrees with us.
Still, somehow, the Bible transcends its misuse by humanity to represent God’s perfect nature. In the midst of those texts that mystify and divide, there are wonders to fill a lifetime. Instead of picking and choosing the scriptures to reinforce dogma, why not share the extensive wonders of God’s truths? Like this wonder:
All have free access to a loving God through a simple acceptance of Christ. Jesus wasn’t speaking of a select, exclusive group of people when he said,
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8
Again, as we near 2025, those questions to consider:
Did the bullies of the Church of 2015 use the time since then to retreat from their chosen road of aggression and hate? Or have they increased in numbers and self-righteousness on the exact same road they were on in 2015?
Since they tie their views and actions to God, claiming he endorses them and they represent him, I wonder, what does God think of their use of time? Was it time he purposed for them to alter course? Was the past decade a time period for his ongoing mercy and long-suffering patience toward those who call themselves his? Was it a time that he refrained from unleashing wrath though it was warranted?
What happens when nothing changes despite an allotted time period of God’s mercy? Does he let us go into the fair consequences of our stubborn and committed choices?
Are we at the point of moving from his mercy to his wrath? Will consequences break through the hardened hearts and minds of those who declare themselves godly but are anything but? Will a state of his wrath facilitate change when mercy did not?
This is about life. Specifically, this is about life with God.
Whether you perceive God in your life or not, he’s in it. Not controlling your life, but there.
Beside you. Behind you, willing to catch you. Ahead of you, offering to lead you.
Whether you recognize him or not makes no difference. He is there.
Then why doesn’t he prevent trouble, struggles, catastrophes, pain … ? Why doesn’t he prevent evil?
He does sometimes, and nobody can explain when and why that is. But mostly, he doesn’t, because that’s the deal he made with we humans. He handed us the keys to our lives.
We get to do what we want.
He wants us to embody his will and ways, and implement them while on Earth, but he doesn’t make us do anything. While we are waiting for him to overcome evil, he is waiting for us to do it.
We are meant to be the enforcers of the victory over evil that Jesus achieved by dying on the cross. He handed us control. There is a whole lot more to it, including personal growth, sanctification, and yieldedness to his will and ways, and believing despite appearances, but simply put …
We are more than conquerors through him who loves us.
“Conquerors” implies a battle, of sorts. It implies that one of our roles in this life is as a soldier. Another way of viewing it is as an elite athlete. Their skills are developed. They don’t skip straight to the winners’ platform, they actively participate in the process. It’s work.
Life is daunting when we “do life” on our own. That’s the only option if we don’t know he also provided his Holy Spirit to partner with in life. We can even know in our minds about his Spirit, but that’s not enough.
We have to connect with him for real. We have to experience him as an actual being.
He’s here for us to partner with now. As a presence in our everyday lives. But do we know that? If we do know it but haven’t experienced it, do we still expect it?
Some Bible-based Christians say that everything we need to know is “in the Word”. They even say it to scold those who mention the Holy Spirit as present in their lives. When puffed-up Christians don’t have the Holy Spirit in their private lives, they attack those who do. They begrudge people who have what they don’t.
Paradoxically, those religious people are not practicing what they preach. They preach about the Holy Spirit; they include him in their theologies and language; they know that every life situation is not in the Bible; they talk about him as our counselor and helper — they just don’t live it. Because they don’t live it, they don’t want others to. They make themselves the standard. In their minds, they are the top-dog, the know-it-all, and on a pedestal above others.
According to their terms, everyone else is expected to assume positions beneath them. That is how they imagine it. That is how they wrote the script of their aspirations. They are at the top, requiring underlings as their subjects. Fail to assume the role they require of you, and you suddenly have a target on your back. Violate the script they write for you, and you will be reprimanded. Question or fail to subjugate to them, and you will be evicted. Don’t be surprised if, after the door is slammed behind you, they follow with false accusations to discredit you.
Just in case you dare to speak the truth about them after your exit.
If you’ve happened into the orbit of people like this (in the name of Jesus no less), I feel for you. I hurt with you. May you recover from their mistreatment. May you arise from the soot of the arson committed against you.
May you not miss out on the massive benefits of having God in your life because of people who misrepresented Him. May you dodge an aversion to God because of people. May you discern the difference of who God is, and who some Christians are.
They are not him. He is not them.
Whether you’ve experienced injustices by people like this or not, know this:
God is there for you. Not controlling your life, but there.
Beside you. Behind you, willing to catch you. Ahead of you, offering to lead you.
Whether you recognize his presence or not makes no difference. He is there.
You have as much a right as any human on this planet to enter into a private and meaningful relationship with him. As much right as anyone to experience his presence. As much right as anyone to have him partner with you to advance your life story.
Seek him. He promises to be found if you do.
If nothing seems to have changed in your life; if you still don’t perceive or “hear” him …
Keep seeking him.
If learning and growth opportunities show up instead of his presence, learn and grow from them. Perhaps he wants to change and grow a few things in you before he entrusts you with his obvious presence. He sees your entire life story while you’re in the early or mid chapters, unable to see beyond now. What doesn’t make sense may in time.
Don’t expect a tidy little short story of life with God. Expect your life story with him to last the entire length of your life on Earth.
Expect a linear trajectory of “better and better and better” with him. Don’t expect to understand it all. Don’t be surprised if life looks awful sometimes, while you dared to hope for wonderful now that you’re doing life with God in it.
I don’t understand all of that. Don’t trust anyone who draws conclusions about you based on a short story arc. No person knows it all. Ignore their confident and critical conclusions of you.
Keep going forward, wanting and expecting his presence with you always. He promises that if you seek him, you will find him.
You’re not done. Your life story isn’t over. Your life isn’t just one chapter or section. It isn’t a simple short story arc.
Your life is a story line … linear … still going forward … complex …
Keep it going, no matter what anyone (or your own logic) says to discourage you.
You’re not done.
You are free to do life alone, in your own power, but you don’t have to. Muster the belief in a good God, despite people who make you want to run away from him, and …
Do life with God.
He’s right there beside you in the form of His Holy Spirit. He won’t impose himself on you. He welcomes you, though, and wants nothing more than to come to the foreground in your life, as an active, participating partner.
Not to control you. But to remain always beside you. And behind you, catching you. And ahead of you, leading you.
Creating with you, the story of your life. Creating, with you, an always improving and evolving storyline.
Photo by Jessica Lewis ud83eudd8b thepaintedsquare on Pexels.com
Cindi Gale 